On his wife's chicken pot pie

"Adelia, I hate to say it, but you've obviously made a pact with the devil, this Chicken Pot Pie is so bad, and normally it is so good. I've heard murmurs out and about that you have been carousing with the devil and his chicken pot pie recipes. I can't taste any kind of flavor, only sin and horrible freezer burn. Devil freezer burn. Freezer burn from a devil pact. I will love you, Adelia, but only once you admit that this Chicken Pot Pie is a product of your pact with the devil and his cookbook I will pray for you.

But maybe this is a blessing in disguise... maybe your next pot pie will be much better as you clear your recipe book from this pot pie devil pact.

Also, please stop using corn in the recipe... you've always used it and I've always suspected the devil."

Pat Robertson

On people getting mad at him for his Haiti comments

"I think all people who are getting mad at me have made pacts with the devil... it's very clear... back in 1988 when I was running for president a lot of Democrats and most sane people made a pact with the devil to disagree with me. The only person who hasn't made a devil pact is me. I have not made a devil pact. Except when I ran for president in 1988... the side effect was making me a crazy, unsympathetic, insane person."

Pat Robertson

On Star Wars Episode 1

"I heard it. I've heard murmurs across hollywood and it's no secret... but George Lucas signed a pact with the Devil... right after American Graffiti George Lucas looked around and wanted to make his Star Wars epic and the Devil came to him... in the form of Jar Jar Binks, and he said to George: 'George Lucas, I will give you an amazing trilogy if you promise to make a prequel that I will co-write with you.' And George Lucas accepted... he said okay as long the first three movies he made were excellent, and it happened. After the Star Wars trilogy was created the Devil sat down with George Lucas and began writing the Phantom Menace... that's why it's called the phantom menace because Satan was a ghost writer for this screenplay. He then demanded that he be the casting director, and he chose a kid that had no place on an acting screen.

This is well documented, I have seen it, I have heard it. The Phantom Menace was cowrote by the devil. May the Devil be with you, George. May the devil be with you."

Pat Robertson

On the time he gained five pounds...

"You know its not me... I certainly have been watching my weight... I can't be blamed for this, when it's very very clear that Tony the Tiger has made a pact with the devil. It's well known that Tony the Tiger has held counsel with the Devil. He wanted his cereal to beat Honey Nut Cheerios so many years ago, as we all know Honey Nut Cheerios is God's Favorite Cereal. So he held conference with the devil and he made a pact... he made a pact with the devil to make every bite of Frosted Flakes so delicious with every bite... that's what he did. And they are delicious... but the devil made them fattening. And that's why I gained these five pounds... because of Tony the Tiger's pact with the devil.

They're Grrrrrrrrrrr-enemies of God. Frosted Flakes are."

Pat Robertson